With less than 2 months before my birthday, I had to get started with working on the Niece Web story I vowed to do. There’s no way I can get away with doing this last-minute, even if I wanted to. I need at least a full month and a prayer to just get the final artwork done. So the first month will be all planning and preparation, and I want to get that done as soon as possible so I can get started with the time-consuming artwork.
My first plan of action is coming up with the plot of the story. So I’m sitting at my computer working on the story. You would think that it would be easy for me since I’m rewriting a story I previously did. But NOPE, my muse wants me to do a mostly new story that’s based off the old one. You see, I’ve spent the past few years researching on writing fundamentals, and what it takes to write a story. This is the first story I’m writing since I finished that research, so my muse is itching to put its knowledge to use. This reminds me of a person I know who’s enlisted in the army and had to do a tour of duty in Iraq. I asked him if he was scared or nervous to be going to such a hostile territory for a few months. His response gave me something to think about. Was he nervous? Yea, he was. But he was also excited too. Excited because he spent months in combat training learning skills, and he’s FINALLY going to put them to practical use. I feel the same way too (though writing is MUCH safer than serving in active duty, thank you lord).
So I begin to work on the story. I have vague, disjointed ideas floating around in my head. “Spring, Autumn and Uncle Spider should start the story off playing soccer”, “Winter cooks a fabulous dinner”, “Melony is a psychiatrist and Neoma is a social worker”. The ideas are ok, but they’re mostly details, and I’m looking for ideas that lead to a plot. And here’s where the frustration sets in. My muse wants to focus on details of the story, while I want to work on grander ideas that lead to a plot. My muse is stubborn and we’re having an internal battle now with each other, and my muse says “screw me” and shuts down all idea generation.
So now I’m sitting there with a nasty case of writer’s block. Not only that, but the negative thoughts start to sink in. “My writing sucks”, “Since coming up with a story is SO HARD, maybe I’m not cut out to be a writer”, “Why bother with this kind of frustration, just don’t bother with it”. Not only am I frustrated with the writer’s block, but now I’m having an internal battle with even continuing writing period. It was a tough time. I’m trying my best to tune out the negative thinking, but it’s so hard because it’s not all just mental. I suffer from clinical depression, so any negativity manifests itself into physical symptoms like headaches, lethargy, and my brain slowing down. Ugh.
So how did I work through this. For one thing, I remember something I posted about earlier on in this blog. A post called “Blank Page Syndrome”, where just writing random gibberish will help get the creative juices flowing. So I tried this method. Because of my depressed brain, it was so hard to even write period, even random gibberish, but I pushed through the layer of mental heaviness. I started by writing down the detail ideas that my muse came up with, and then I wrote down my desire to come up with ideas for the plot too. Then something just clicked in my head, and I started coming up with ideas that I can create a plot out of. “While Spring, Autumn and Spider are playing Soccer, Spider would meet Melony there, the lady he would have a disastrous date with”. “Summer believes in romance, so she sees an incentive to plan Spider the perfect date, and have it go well”. “Spring is forced to attend this date against her will, so she decides to play pranks for her own amusement”.
I won’t be spoiling the story I’ll eventually come up with, but that’s just some of the ideas I came up with so far. I just wanted to detail the hellish battle I had with myself to get to this point. But I’m committed to completing this vow. Check back for more updates.
Chimeric Musings 